Brenda Di BariCHAPTER 1.

Your Home, Your Temple.

I have spent my life and career helping my clients to find and secure their dream homes. During my 18 years of experience as a real estate professional I have met and worked with a huge variety of clients, all with differing requirements for their individual situations. But I didn’t always work in real estate – I began my career in the fast-paced world of fashion and style consultation!

I studied fashion design and brand management at college which lead me to styling for runway shows and magazines. I didn’t know it at the time, but these early creative experiences were to become a huge contributor to the type of businesswoman I was set to become. This particular chapter of my life taught me to appreciate great quality work, and to remain open minded to the individual needs of the clients and designers I worked with.

When I moved into real estate, it felt like a natural flow on from fashion styling in many ways. The product might not be quite the same, but the way I approached my work was highly comparable. Fundamentally, I was helping people to bring their initial ideas into full fruition, helping them to select homes that helped bring out their inner sense of unique self.

Life coaching has been an organic and very natural development in my career. I am continuing to help people to maximize their potential and to embrace the possibilities that lay ahead in their future. Using my extensive experience and personal passion, I help my clients to build on the foundations they arrive into my office with.

Here in this chapter, I am going to offer you an opportunity to start to do the very same!

Your home environment is the support system to your lifestyle in many ways. It is where you recharge. It is the space within which you start and finish your day, and where you choose the outfits, accessories and attitudes that you head out the door to face the world with. It’s also a space where you invite in those you care about and spend time with loved ones.

Your home is not just where you lay your head at night, it’s a natural extension of your personal identity. How you self-identify your value is closely tied in with how – and where – you spend your time. Taking consideration of this environment is as important as taking care of your health. In fact, I propose that it is actually a key component within your overall wellbeing.

Sometimes life can become chaotic. As a result, it can be hard to prioritize self-care. When life starts stacking up career stress, familial responsibilities and social obligations it can be really tough to find time to take care of your body and mind. What I believe, is that if you’re able to create a home space you are happy to spend time in, then in turn your home can help to support you in the tougher phases when you need it most.

Imagine walking through your front door to find clutter because of a lack of storage and stepping into your kitchen only to feel deflated by the realization it’s still the coloring and structure that feels like it belongs to someone else. Visualize heading into your bathroom and taking a look in your bathroom mirror and feeling strongly that the person looking back doesn’t suit the backdrop that surrounds you.

If this feels at all familiar, then you aren’t alone – consider this your starting point!

Before you rush after the first home that comes up from an online search (we have all been there) instead I encourage you to pause for a moment. When was the last time you checked in on what your true ambitions are for yourself and your home? When was the last time you really reflected on what kind of home would suit you?

We all change and develop as we move through life. Who you are now and what you want are likely very different to a year ago, let alone 10 years ago? What you were looking for when you moved to the home, you’re currently living in is likely very different to where you’d really like to be living tomorrow.

To help you develop your sense of self, I am going to close this chapter with a short activity for you to try:


Despite what you might be expecting, this exercise is not about lengthy explorations or drawn out analysis. This is sharp, no time to think, smart way of drawing out your inner desires without having time to stop and question them. Set aside an hour of your day for this, in a space where you are unlikely to be disturbed.

You will need:

1x large piece of paper

1x marker pen

1x highlighter (any color)

1x stopwatch


Place your paper in front of you and set your timer to 10 minutes. Make sure the space you’re in is free from distractions. If you’re using your smartphone as your timer, then be sure to place it on airplane mode at this point.


Draw a large circle on the page in front of you. For the timed 10-minute period, fill the circle with words that depict the things you value most in life. It could be family, friends, or values. It could be movies, fashion, and music. They can be as little or as large as you like, but just keep writing. Don’t stop to think about what you’re writing or take your pen off the paper for too long. Let it all go!


After the 10 minutes is up, sit back from the circle in front of you. Go and take a short walk and refresh your mind. You might want to make yourself a hot drink, or head outside for a moment to get some fresh air. Don’t leave the paper for longer than 20 minutes, so that you don’t lose crucial creative momentum.


Read your words aloud to yourself. You might be surprised what has surfaced and what you didn’t expect to write down. Next, take your highlighter and draw out any of the elements in your circle that you hold as priorities. It might be that the lighter elements (such as music titles, foods, etc.) can be identified as values for personal time spent at home. The people you may have listed could be highlighted as those you want to keep close by.


In the next few days, return to your circle a few times and reflect on the messages you are sharing with yourself. Consider how you could introduce more of the elements you value into your life, and how that could translate this in your future home space. Once this creative process has been ignited, it will soon start to connect up faster than you might think.